Saturday, February 18, 2012

"You Can't Always Get What You Want..." Sing it Mick!!

That is how I felt about today's run.  It wasn't the run that I wanted.  Period.  Unequivocally it was one of the worst runs I have had since I started running again.

I so look forward to my long run Saturday's.  I truly save all of my yucky feelings from the week and I shed them with every mile that ticks by.  Not today.  It seemed like the more I wanted to shed the week, the more I held onto it.  Nothing magically resolved itself like it normally does.

I can't say why this is.  There were so many things different about todays run that I am not sure I could even pin-point the culprit.  My guess is I just plain old changed too much up.  Let's look:

  • I ran alone for the first time on a long run since August.  Bummer
  • I ran a new trail I have never run.  Nice view and nice and flat for my legs. Bonus
  • Elise has been a cling-on all week so my toes went numb on my run as well as my foot hurting and my leg feeling out of whack.  Bummer
  • I ran with music for the first time since my last race. Normally Bonus... BUT
  • I somehow lost a playlist on my iPod and I could not get the right rhythm for my run.  Bummer
  • The weather SUCKED!!!  Started dry with a tailwind, nice.  Overheated at about mile 3 and ran in short sleeves until mile 5 when it turned grey and started to pour on me.  Then I turned around into the great tailwind and fought an even stronger headwind with pouring rain for the last 5mi.  Bummer!!
  • I smiled at every person I saw on the first 5-wore a constant scowl for the last 5.  Bummer
  • My left had swelled to the size of China  when I realized I was clenching my left arm to hold up the arm band of said iPod that could not produce good music.  Bummer
  • I ran with the MapMyRun app for the first time and Mike followed my progress and sent me a text of support.  BONUS!
  • Realized that 10mi is easier for me now than just a 2mi run.  Bonus
I really think that I will get over this and be happy about my run because overall I ran a great pace even into the headwind I ran under 10mm which is awesome!  I just feel disappointed.  I know every run can't be the best ever, but I just really needed today to be cathartic for me and it wasn't.  Maybe it is something greater.  I am still crying at the drop of a hat and in fact made Mike turn off a movie last night because I was getting too upset.  Instead we watched "Running The Sahara" which was an amazingly put together film.

The pic from the rotten run :P  If you look close you can see the tears just about to fall.

Well next week my long run will be 15mi long.  Let's hope I can get it all worked out by then.  Thanks for listening :D


  1. You ran 10 miles today!!! I barely walked 10 steps as I have two sick kids clinging to me. :( I would say the fact that you were able to finish AND be critical of your disappointments shows how goal orientated you are. Chin up, you are an amazing mom and dedicated runner. If you stopped today (and I know you won't) you would still be a success.
    PS...and you just twisted the knife that I need to get my butt in gear and send you the music I promised so long ago! HA! xoxo

  2. Jada you rock! Thanks for the support and no worries!! With two little ones, I know sending me music is LOW on the list xo xo!