Sunday, January 1, 2012

I Would Like To Take This Opportunity To Thank My Spouse

Last night as the year was turning to a new beginning, Mike and I were sitting on the couch enjoying a fire in the fireplace along with a glass (or more) of wine.  For us this is our "Date Night".  Sure we go out and do things but honestly we feel like we connect more when it is just the two of us in a candle lit room as opposed to "Check out what that woman has on" or "Do you think that is his real hair?" that we find ourselves talking about when we are out in public.

As we were going over the deep things in life, it came up that Mike is proud of me.  More specifically proud of my running.  He told me the story of how he felt when he and the babies saw me come around the corner at the 12k's of Christmas.  He told me he suddenly was very aware of what I was doing.  There I was chugging along after all those miles with a smile on my face...just doing it!  He was so proud and happy that I have given the children the gift of a Mother Runner, but more importantly giving myself the gift of running.

You see over the last two+ years, I have lost myself.  It dawned on me yesterday that I had turned into "Ryan and Elise's mom"  Not that that is a bad thing, and it certainly is true in it's description of me.  The downside is I had lost the "Sarah" of Sarah.  Every online "handle" I had was a variation of mom.  "Mommy Mertel", "Ryan&Elise's Mom", "R&E'sMom"...these are all some examples of the names I use.
It made me acutely aware of wanting to be more me again.  So I promptly changed my blog handle to simply "Sarah"...who would have thought right??
This also plays into the conversation Mike and I were having with our wine.  I told him that when I grew into my adult self, what I found was I was happiest when I figured out that athletics made me feel good and proud of myself.  It boosted my self esteem, it made me have much clearer thoughts, it all around was a good thing in my life.   I would have described myself as a runner, a cyclist, a swimmer, a hiker, a camper, a golfer, an avid reader, and a wannabe gourmet chef.  None of those describers say anything about my job or place in life, what my political viewpoint is, or what kind of a consumer I am.  That makes me feel good.

Along the way motherhood has become my profession and along with it motherhood has become what I use to describe myself.  This is dangerous in my opinion.  I have always been fearful for those who are defined by their work as opposed to who they are.  It is like they don't know sad.
Well here I am in that group!

I guess what my New Year's Resolution really is, is to define Sarah as Sarah this year.  I told Mike that 2012 is my year and he couldn't be happier!  I can't tell you how amazing it is to have a life partner who really gets me and truly wants me to live a full and happy life not only for myself, but for the greater good of our family.

So here it is, these are the words that describe me now;
I am a runner and a soon to be Marathoner (OMG that makes my heart flutter)
I am an amazing, giving Wife who truly loves my husband to his core.
I am a Mom to two amazing, spirited, high energy, incredibly intelligent children who literally make life worth living every single day to it's fullest.

These are in a specific order.  Me first, my husband next because without him I would not be a mom, and then my kids.  Not that they are any less important, but I think it's good that the world doesn't always revolve around them...who am I kidding, the world DOES revolve around them :o)

If you feel so inclined, I would LOVE to hear the words you use to describe yourself
Peace and Love

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