I am beat down. There is no other way to say it.
I am sick with the yuck my kids have had for the last two weeks.
My achilles that I have been in denial about has officially reared it's ugly head.
My calf is so screwed up I actually was crying while I tried to roll it last night...not even the foam roller, straight to the rolling pin!
I am stressed out because I am realizing all the things I need to be doing and I am not doing.
I am not eating right.
I am midway through training and I am having a mental breakdown.
I know this will pass and I know I will finish the marathon just fine. As we sit here today (and all this week) I just feel like my load is too heavy.
I have pacified the children for a few peaceful moments (once again, Thank You Disney) with a movie and some cheddar bunnies so I can purge my brain and get ready to start over. So here goes my dump :P
On the schedule I had 4mi Tuesday, 8mi Wednesday, 4mi Thursday, and 16mi Saturday. I had planned a snowshoe re-TREAT quite some time ago, so I planned on actually running 4mi Tues., 16mi Thurs., and snowshoeing 9mi Sat. This seemed like a good enough and completely doable plan. That is until last week when I watched Mike and Elise get really sick and rundown. Ryan and I stayed healthy, but I knew deep down it was inevitable. In fact, this is why I initially signed up for only a spring half. I knew how winter and illness goes with children and I was actually prepared for much more sick time this winter. As time went by though, the kids and I stayed healthy and I realized that a full was totally doable (and still is). It came as no surprise when earlier in the week I started to feel that tingle in my throat and my will to run fell to zero.
I actually did Tuesday's 4mi run and it was rough. After that run is when I really started to feel yucky. My legs were heavy the first 3mi and I figured it was just from my last long run.
Then the limping started. I am not sure what day it was, I think it was Wednesday. It got to the point were I was limping every time I walked. It wasn't in my achilles, but rather behind my knee and involving my calf. Knowing full well that it is completely related I felt the wind go out of my sails. At that point I was still in denial and was planning on running my long run on Thursday. Deep down though I knew things aren't right.
So I called Beth, the awesome owner of Kingston Adventures who is also a Ultra runner and just awesome person all around-I know this because she was brave enough to let our dog Klaus (her Scout) go live with her when things got too overwhelming for me when the babies were little. Here is a great article/interview with Beth and ESPN. As you can see she might know a thing or two about running.
We talked about my achilles and she confirmed what my gut was telling me, I need to rest it. Of course that meant no running for the rest of this week. We also talked quite a bit about nutrition. I have to admit, I have not been fueling my body correctly. I eat a good breakfast and a good supper, but in between is kind of a mess. I let myself run down to nothing and I am frequently running on fumes. Not good for repairing muscle tissue. I have also been coming home from long runs (actually all my runs) and instead of taking care of myself I have just jumped back into the roll of mom and put myself last. When I told Beth that I was coming home from long runs and pretty much standing on my feet for the rest of the day her comment was along the lines of; unless you are training for an Ironman and need that time on your feet, it's not a good idea.
I told her I was pushing myself because of course I want to finish my race. She asked how long my last long run was, 15mi, and how long it took me to run, about 2.5hrs, she told me that there are many people who believe that is good enough for training. Many long distance runners run a long run that is 2.5hrs or 18mi whichever comes first. She also let me know that when she was training for Ultraman (a 50mi run) she had a lot going on and never did a training run longer than 2hrs. After I told her I had almost 2mo left before the race, she all but laughed at me and told me I had plenty of time to get back to training!
That really put it in perspective for me. She reassured me that if I took time off now, I would not loose all of my training I had done.
That pretty much sealed the deal. If I were to be honest with myself and to truly listen to my body, I knew I needed to take a break. I originally thought I would run on Thursday anyhow, but when the sick took over, there was no energy to even jog to the mailbox. I honestly believe that things happen for a reason. I think I got this sick to keep me off my feet so I can recharge my batteries and get ready for the final push in training.
I am not sure how I will proceed with my runs next week. I will cross that bridge when I get there. I do know this much; No more excuses, I will cross train, not that that would have prevented my injury, but I know it would not have hurt. My plan is to continue to give my calf/achilles a break while still working on my endurance. Can you say hello cross training?!? The pool and I will become good friend as well as the rowing machine. I am going to spin a bit as well, but knowing that it could muck with my calf, I may not jump right to that. I do plan on running next Saturday's long run. It is a stepback week so only 13mi.
I still not sure about 9mi of snowshoeing this weekend. I think that will be a game time call.
I also am going to get a sports massage this week to hopefully loosen up the muscles and I also think it is time to visit a chiropractor again. It has been years, but I know my hips are out of alignment from carrying Elise and I know that my right leg (the one that is questionable) takes a big load. I even was considering acupuncture earlier this week when I saw a Living Social deal come through my email. I didn't jump on it, but it is still in the back of my head.
I really hope that something magical will happen; as my cold leaves it will magically take all my other pain symptoms away with it.
A girl can always hope right???
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