I'm frustrated.
I have been for some time now.
I feel blah, my running is blah, everything is blah.
I'm irritated that my body isn't responding-but why should I be? I'm not really doing anything to change it if I am being honest with myself.
So what am I really irritated at? Myself. Isn't that the hardest thing to do-point the finger back at yourself and realize you are the reason everything is wrong. I so want to blame someone or something, but I can't.
It's time to man up and admit to all the pitfalls I have fallen into. Of course it started when I got pregnant. I am going to admit something here which embarrases my deeply-while I was pregnant with Ryan I craved and ate Mc Donald's cheeseburgers, Big Mac's and chocolate shakes like it was my job!! If you knew me in person you would understand that equates me saying I am the Devil Incarnate. Seriously-I detest everything fast food stands for!!!
Then Ry was born and I went back to healthy eating. You all know the story-along came Elise three months later and pregnancy took over once again. I was so tired all the time and to make up for my lack of energy I ate. I basically ate anything and everything I could get my hands on! If I could not shovel it (not sit down savor and enjoy-but straight up shovel and inhale) I did not eat it. So not much preparing of healthful foods. I didn't crave the Golden Arches (thank God) but I also wasn't paying attention so I overate-All. The. Time.
What next-PPD UGH!! Need I say more. Dealing with depression is a whole other thing in itself. For the first time in my life I found myself comfort eating-or to be more clear Comfort Shoveling High Cal Food. Doughnuts, Bacon, you name it. If it was rich and tasty I ate it. Not that I believe those foods are bad for you by definition, they are just what I tell my kids in regards to snacks "Sometimes Foods" not everyday make you grow food.
Part of this is what lead to running the marathon-I wanted to lose the last of the weight. Yet again though I made a grave mistake. I started to "diet" while training. If you know anything about healthful eating, you will know this was just about the dumbest thing I could have done. I felt all the negative affects; poor training, long recovery times, low energy, on and on. In the end I didn't lose a single pound and instead gained five more back!!
Then I went hardcore-Bob Harper "The Skinny Rules" which I think should be retitled "How To Screw Up Your Metabolism In One Month Or Less". Seriously, I used to respect Bob, but have a hard time with someone who promotes How To Be An Anorexic. I may be a little harsh here but after sticking with him and not only not losing weight, but after three trips to the Dr's I figured out I was just starving myself!
I've had quite a bit more success by eating more and doing Boot Camp at the YMCA etc. but the kids weren't cooperating when it was time to go to the gym, and let me tell you sometimes fighting with SUPER headstrong, SUPER spirited three and four year olds just isn't worth it. They drained the life out of me just getting them into the car let alone getting the car seats belted. So again I flounder.
Then I decided to try something I previously would have been totally against. I feel like anything marketed to the masses as fitness, health, diet, etc should be considered 100% suspect and avoided at all costs. But, I started to ask questions and opinions of those who I trust. They all had similar impressions and advice and none of it was negative exactly. The biggest thing I found was No One finished the entire 60 day program-BUT that is because they all were trying to keep up their running at the same time and they just plain old got exhausted.
So I'm diving in. I am committing to the Insanity 60 Day Challenge. I luckily got the videos from another awesome running friend and she also gave me the nutrition guide. So far I have had the guide one day. It suggests you eat five meals per day. I have known for awhile that I am not eating constantly throughout the day and my blood sugar is dropping like a bomb! So far I have been sticking to eating 2-3 hrs with the suggested foods and I have already felt more "even" The amount of suggested daily cal intake for me is about what I would suspect is right on target. Not too few to keep my internal engine running. For me that's about 1900-2100 per day. Very realistic, not even close to starvation. I also am going to add the Shakeology product to my diet as well.
I am also being guided through this process by the lovely Rhonda at Motivation Rhonda who is a runner herself. She too was a midpack runner (and diet product skeptic) who integrated Insanity into her running and also the Shakeology products. She later went on to qualify for Boston! I'm not saying that just because you do Insanity workouts and drink Shakeology drinks that you will BQ, but how awesome would it be if it helped get my body back to start so I could really focus on my running again and achieve the goals I have set for myself.
There is just one small problem. I have NO problem giving up running for two months-it's just not that fulfilling right now anyhow-but I do have a bib for the Seattle Rock N Roll Half that I'm not sure what to do with. I guess I will just play it by ear and see how it all shakes out.
One last thing, for the first time ever I have taken a "Before" picture. It's not pretty and I am not quite ready to share it-maybe after some results?
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