"You Can't Always Get What You Want..." Sing it Mick!!

That is how I felt about today's run.  It wasn't the run that I wanted.  Period.  Unequivocally it was one of the worst runs I have had since I started running again.

I so look forward to my long run Saturday's.  I truly save all of my yucky feelings from the week and I shed them with every mile that ticks by.  Not today.  It seemed like the more I wanted to shed the week, the more I held onto it.  Nothing magically resolved itself like it normally does.

I can't say why this is.  There were so many things different about todays run that I am not sure I could even pin-point the culprit.  My guess is I just plain old changed too much up.  Let's look:

• I ran alone for the first time on a long run since August.  Bummer
• I ran a new trail I have never run.  Nice view and nice and flat for my legs. Bonus
• Elise has been a cling-on all week so my toes went numb on my run as well as my foot hurting and my leg feeling out of whack.  Bummer
• I ran with music for the first time since my last race. Normally Bonus... BUT
• I somehow lost a playlist on my iPod and I could not get the right rhythm for my run.  Bummer
• The weather SUCKED!!!  Started dry with a tailwind, nice.  Overheated at about mile 3 and ran in short sleeves until mile 5 when it turned grey and started to pour on me.  Then I turned around into the great tailwind and fought an even stronger headwind with pouring rain for the last 5mi.  Bummer!!
• I smiled at every person I saw on the first 5-wore a constant scowl for the last 5.  Bummer
• My left had swelled to the size of China  when I realized I was clenching my left arm to hold up the arm band of said iPod that could not produce good music.  Bummer
• I ran with the MapMyRun app for the first time and Mike followed my progress and sent me a text of support.  BONUS!
• Realized that 10mi is easier for me now than just a 2mi run.  Bonus

I really think that I will get over this and be happy about my run because overall I ran a great pace even into the headwind I ran under 10mm which is awesome!  I just feel disappointed.  I know every run can't be the best ever, but I just really needed today to be cathartic for me and it wasn't.  Maybe it is something greater.  I am still crying at the drop of a hat and in fact made Mike turn off a movie last night because I was getting too upset.  Instead we watched "Running The Sahara" which was an amazingly put together film.

The pic from the rotten run :P  If you look close you can see the tears just about to fall.

Well next week my long run will be 15mi long.  Let's hope I can get it all worked out by then.  Thanks for listening :D